Worried

I appreciate all of your kind comments on my last entry. I wanted to give everyone an update and let them know that I'm doing much better.

I figured out what it was. When I move to a new area, I like to invite people over and entertain. Our apartment is just too small for that, it was cramping my style.

This week I feel much better. There were a handful of outings that helped me to get to know some of the other wives better. I had a tough day with my kids one day last week, so I called a few girls and someone went to a movie with me. I needed a girls night out - and I'm starting to make those contacts.

I can still be social even though I can't invite people over to our small, cat-smelly apartment.

Fuur - ends

You have to read the title as if you were Ricki's mom in "Better off Dead." If you don't know that movie then you need to put it on your netflix queue and enlighten yourself to one of the best 80s movies of all times.

Last night our ward had a get-to-know you enrichment. They bounced around to tables and had a list of questions at the table that everyone had to answer. It was an enjoyable evening accompanied with a lot of chocolate. You can't go wrong.

At the end of the evening they had one of the ladies give a little talk on friends. The girl was really funny and reminded me a ton of my dear friend, Katie. As they were giving the lesson I almost teared up a few times. I feel lonely here in Arizona, and I'm really feeling the lack of friends. Trav tried to tell me that I've got him, somehow its just not the same.

On my ride home to my house I was analyzing my feelings. I came to the hard realization that this is going to be my life. Every few years, starting from scratch. Don't get me wrong, there are a handful of things I love about moving. I do enjoy the starting over and starting anew, but I'm having a hard time with it. My sister asked me, "How long did it take you to make friends in MD?" I told her I remember being really depressed the first 6 weeks, but then feeling better once I joined a gym and got out of the house.

Then I remembered back to my time in Maryland and it took me almost a year to find "Abbie" (name has been changed to protect the innocent). "Abbie" was always there, its just that I didn't get to really know her until I started reading her inner most thoughts on her blog. I realized, this was the friend I had been searching and praying for. A person that was sincere and doesn't put up a front. What you see is what you get, and I LOVE THAT!

I've been very blessed in my life to have had great friends. I have dear friends from high school, friends that I roomed with at college, "couple friends" with Trav & I when we were newlyweds, friends from TDY, and friends from living abroad, and those from each duty station. I also have wonderful sisters and cousins that have become dear friends. So you friends, I thank you, thanks for being the wonderful people that no matter how long its been since we've talked, it always like it was just yesterday.

I guess I'll just have to bunker down and deal with it until my "Abbie" appears once more. But don't worry, "Abbie" you'll never be replaced.

Arizona

Living on the bottom floor has its advantages. Bringing groceries is nice because I don't have to go up any stairs. Our townhouse in Maryland had the kitchen on the 2nd floor - so I'm glad I don't have to lug groceries up the stairs week after week. Also, we've only had to start turning on the A/C this week and only in the afternoons with the temperatures around mid 90s.

Then again, living on the bottom floor has its disadvantages. Namely this Cockroach:
This Camel spider:

And this Giant Crab Spider:
Luckily Trav found all three and I haven't seen one of them without him around. He caught the camel spider in a cup (ours wasn't quite that big) and wanted me to come and look at it. It was disgusting and I couldn't handle it. Trav assures me that none of the things found are poisonous, but they all seem to be living in my linen closet. It makes me a little nervous every time I open it. I just know its going to be like Arachnephobia and a spider is going to jump out at me and kill me instantly.