Monday, April 9, 2012

Pregnancy update

So I went into the Dr. today to see if I had strep. They checked all my vitals and then went to find a fetal heartbeat. The nurse searched and couldn't find one. I told her I'm always anxious because my sister had 2 second trimester miscarriages. She told me she would bring in the doctor to do an ultra sound. He did an ultrasound, and was very silent and then brought in another doctor. They informed me they weren't able to find a heart beat. It appears the fetus is developed up to 13 weeks, which means this just happened in the last day or 2. They are scheduling a D&E (like a DNC - but for those past 12 weeks) in the next 24-72 hours.

I've kind of felt all along that this baby happened too easily, the sad thing is I was beginning to think it was going to stick. Keep us in your prayers. I'm going to take a not from my sister, Allison's book because I really need to look on the bright side right now.

10 Things I'm grateful for:
1. I have 3 beautiful, healthy girls
2. I have a wonderful husband who dropped everything to come and be with me!
3. I won't be moving into the desert 30 weeks pregnant.
4. A wonderful friend who listened to the spirit and offered to bring us dinner even before this all came about.
5. That Travis was not out of town when this happened, if I would have waited until my next appt, Travis would have been in California.
6. Wonderful family that has offered to step in and help us where necessary.
7. I can lose some more weight before trying to get pregnant again.
8. If I get my bum in gear, I can run the rock 'n roll half marathon.
9. The knowledge of an eternal family and a loving Heavenly Father.
10. The atonement of Christ - Alma 7:12 12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

10 comments:

Doug and Amanda said...

Steph I am so sorry to hear of your loss, thank you so much for posting and updating. We will definitely keep your sweet family and you in our prayers.

Stacey Mom said...

You will be in my prayers Steph, I'm so sorry to hear this news. You are an amazing woman Steph, I love your blessing list, I always learn from you. Love ya-alisa

Ginger said...

Oh Stephanie, I've been in your shoes. A year ago I had our baby Matthew at 21 weeks. It's been a year and it's still hard. I hate grief, I'm not good at it. One thing that helps is to work in my garden and yard. My friends gave me some plants after our baby died and it's wonderful to see them come up this year. Oh, My heart is aching for you. Lean on Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation. It's okay to be sad. And remember that this sadness doesn't go away after a certain time period. Remember that our life here is about how we react to the hard things that come along. Heavenly Father has a plan for you and all of your children. Trust him.

Sorry for preaching to you..I just know how you feel. I felt different emotions everyday. Hurt, guilt, jealousy toward others, sad, and everything in between. It will help to talk to Travis too. Sometimes I feel like I need to just hold Loren's hand and then I know I'll be okay.

I love you. I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

Jadi said...

I was so sad to see this post. You touched me with the way you have decided to handle this trial. Thank you for your example. I will keep you in my prayers.

Melissa said...

Love you, thinking of you, praying for you.

In the Hartland said...

Oh Stephanie, I am so, so, so sorry! I was so shocked and saddened to read your post. My two miscarriages were by far the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. Ugh. In some ways, I have never recoverd from them. Please know that I am here to talk to if you need someone to cry with. I love you and will keep you in my prayers! LJH

emilyaaa said...

Oh, stephanie, I am so sorry. My heart is hurting for you and my eyes haven't been dry since I read this. You will be in our prayers.

it's just lisa said...

You have always been an example to me. I treasure the times I got to sit in on the YW lessons you've given. The scripture from Alma that you posted touched my heart. What an example you are. My prayers will be with you and your family.

Blair & Kristen Heward said...

I'm still so sorry about this I know how hard miscarriages can be. You definetly do have a cute little family! I will keep you in my prayers and in my thoughts!

Natalie said...

Stephanie,
I am so sorry this happened to you.
I am so happy that you are back in the blogging world. Where are you moving to in Cali? I hope it is near us-it would be fun to see you again.
Let me know.

Natalie